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Friday, May 10, 2013

You Know You’re a Wine Geek If...

You know you’re a wine geek if...

  1. You spend more on wine than food.
  2. You spend more on wine than other life expenses.
  3. You pair your dinner to your wine, not the other way around.
  4. You walk into a wine shop and immediately go to the “esoteric” section.
  5. You know that German wine means so much more than just Riesling.
  6. And you know that not all Riesling is “sweet.”
  7. You know the difference between Pauillac and Pomerol, Saint Estephe and Saint Emilion.
  8. You can pronounce Gewurztraminer and Blaufrankisch.
  9. You realize that bocksbeutel does not necessarily translate to Mateus.
  10. You don’t think Tannat is excessively dry.
  11. You can explain botrytis cinerea and start dreaming of good Sauternes.
  12. You strongly prefer Grower Champagne over the well known houses.
  13. You try, to no end, to explain the concept of terroir to just about everyone.
  14. You don’t laugh when you say “Cahors.”
  15. You keep records of everything you ever drank, and when a new vintage is released, you take notes all over again.
  16. You know that Malbec, Tannat, and Carmenere have their origins in France - not South America.
  17. You think it’s fun to say “Gruner Veltliner,”
  18. You enjoy sparkling wines from outside of Champagne, and still wines from Champagne, and think nothing of it.
  19. You have a new favorite grape and region every day.
  20. You have a section in your collection dedicated to Aglianico.
  21. Your iPhone apps include vintage charts and you check them regularly.
  22. You find brown bagging to be a most exciting game.
  23. All day, you wonder what bottle you’ll be opening this evening.
  24. You carry a corkscrew wherever you go.
  25. When you’re invited to parties, the host automatically expects that you’ll be bringing wine.
  26. You know what a GSM blend is.
  27. The statement, “I don’t drink Chardonnay; I only drink Chablis,” frustrates you.
  28. You think those intentionally oxidized wines are so cool.
  29. You can spend an entire evening with friends talking about wine.
  30. You dream of trips to Burgundy, Jura, Campagna, Nahe, and Priorat.
  31. You really only drink rosé in the summer months.
  32. You secretly want to kill people who put ice in their wine - especially in their red wine.
  33. You have an urge to marinate your steak in Pinotage.
  34. You were loving Sancerre long before it became a massive trend.
  35. You’re not worried about Parker reviews - at all.
  36. You panic when a thunderstorm knocks out the power on a hot summer night - because the temperature will rise and might affect your wine collection.
  37. You celebrate milestone birthdays with wines from your birth year.
  38. You start swirling orange juice, coffee, water, anything that’s in a glass or cup, and begin sniffing it before tasting.
  39. When you hear the word “bouquet,” you don’t think of flowers - you think of aromas.
  40. You prefer to support “vignerons independants” - because the wines are fascinating and because you feel it’s the right thing to do.
  41. All of the pictures you post to Facebook are of wine labels.
  42. You have a collection of different shaped wine glasses and use them accordingly.
  43. You’ve been involved in a heated argument regarding corks versus screw caps.
  44. You place a light behind a bottle as you decant.
  45. You have designated Friday wine, Saturday wine, Sunday wine - and weeknight wines.
  46. You don’t just save special bottles for special occasions - oftentimes, opening the special bottle counts as the special occasion.
  47. You tell “wine jokes” and “wine puns” and expect everyone in the room to laugh.
  48. You die a little when you hear someone at the next table order White Zinfandel.
  49. Your knowledge of geography revolves around wine regions.
  50. The more you learn about wine, the more inquisitive you become, and the more you realize there is left to learn.

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